1002 ways to goof up (continued)

900. Leave your marker uncapped.
899. Ask a woman when the baby is due ... and find that she's not pregnant.
898. Use a permanent marker on a dry-erase board.
897. Wipe your dirty hands on the towels that are only for display.
896. Show up at what you thought was a costume party.
895. Lean too far back in your chair.
894. Realize that your father actually didn't want you to say that one more time.
893. Show up at the test with only Number 1 pencils.
892. Use a permanent marker on a dry-erase board.
891. Pinch your finger in your ring binder.
890. Get a paper cut.
889. Stand behind a mule.
888. Sing the wrong verse in the hymn.
887. Realize after the storm begins that your windows are down.
886. Finish wrapping the gift and then lose track of which person it's for.
885. Let the impossible-to-see end of the packaging tape fall back on the roll.
884. Reach for the doorknob ... after building up static walking on carpet.
883. Learn that you overloaded a cardboard box ... by having the bottom collapse.
882. Switch to live TV ... and then learn that your son was in the process of selecting a bunch of recorded program to delete ... a function that you weren't even aware of.
881. Make fun of a joke before it's over.
880. Shave one sideburn higher than the other.
879. Crack a tooth tightening the lace on your baseball glove.
878. Tie your necktie so that the part in back is longer than the part in front.
877. Botch the place setting.
875. Leave marker ink on the table right through the paper.
874. Open a soda that's all shaken up.
873. Burn the toast.
872. And the eggs.
871. Let the cat out of the bag.
870. Not to mention spill the beans.
869. Steal the bookmark that you thought your mate wasn't using.
868. Leave the curling iron on.
867. Bat the ball through a window.
866. Open your car door into someone else's.
865. Yell BINGO when you only have BING.
864. Roll a gutter ball.
863. Spike the ball into the net.
862. Leave your lavalier microphone on while you use the restroom.
861. Miss the bottom step.
860. Leave the water running.
859. And realize it after you return from vacation.
858. Overseas.
857. Try to eat just one Lay's potato chip.
856. Forget to save.
855. Hesitate.
854. Blink.
853. Lose your cool.
852. Shut the barn door when the cows are gone.
851. Don't stop and smell the roses.