Read this tomorrow and pretend it's still April

A few months ago, I came across a notice that Baskin-Robbins would offer 31¢ scoops in the evening on April 30 (today). Naturally, cheapskate ice cream hound that I am, I marked that in the family calendar and eagerly watched the day approach.

This morning, I mentioned this momentous opportunity to Ethan and Emmett, and a thought occurred to me.

"I wonder why they didn't schedule this for tomorrow," I said. "31 cents on the 31st."

"Very funny," Emmett said.

"Yeah, clever, no?"

"No."

"Huh?"

"Dad, there are only 30 days in April."

Beat.

"I knew that."

For my mistake: Keith, Ya Goof!

For not scheduling this promotion in a month that does have 31 days: Baskin-Robbins event scheduler, Ya—

No, I can't say that. Baskin-Robbins must schedule the event at this time of year to get into your head going into the summer ice cream eating season, rather than choosing March 31 or waiting until July 31. Can't fault 'em for that.

P.S. I don't know how long Baskin-Robbins has had its new logo, but I that embedded "31" is way cool.

Mmm, know what I could go for? A double dip of ...

This local institution has the best frozen custard on the planet. The place looks great, too. Right out of the fifties.

Complete with a towering neon sign that unfortunately is on the fritz about 10% of the time. See below.

Doesn't the second flavor in particular sound tempting? Also a great candidate for the name of a punk band.

Whoever's behind this finicky beast--YaGoof!

Just hold on an afternoon now, ya whippersnapper

I set a personal record today.

I waited on hold on the telephone for four straight hours. Yep, 12:30 until 4:30, when the company I was calling closes and anyone who happens to be waiting on hold is just ... let go.

The company: Armstrong World Industries

The situation: Our church just had new flooring installed, and we received some advice to apply wax. I researched it on Armstrong.com--which has lots of great info--and it doesn't look like we should apply wax (just cleaner and polish instead), but I wanted a technical rep to confirm that, so I called the support line.


Let's see, since I heard it about 800 times, maybe I can recall what the recorded voice kept saying every so often ... It was something like ...

Thank you for your patience, but we don't have anyone to talk to you, so please go to our website instead.

Okay, okay, it was a little nicer than that, but the result was the same: No live help.

The reason I held on so long: I had a bunch of (relatively brainless) design to do at work today, and I have a headset that plugs into my phone, so I just refused to hang up. After the first hour, it became a challenge. I had kind of hoped to listen to an entire Stephen King audio novel this afternoon, but hey ... the on-hold message from Armstrong World Industries is nearly as entertaining.

Nearly.

People of Armstrong ... Ya Goofs!