1002 ways to goof up (continued)

454. Wear you only red clothing to work on the day before Valentine's Day.
453. Show up to pick up your car-pool buddy on the day that he's supposed to drive.
452. Forget to dim your lights.
451. Present your library card to the cashier instead of your credit card.
450. Forget your lunch money.
449. Forget your lunch.
448. Make lunch not only for tomorrow, but also for the next day and then realize that you did the same thing the day before, so now you're two lunches ahead but in danger of something getting soggy or stale or hard or ...
447. Fiddle with your portable music player or radio every which way you can think but fail to get sound, and then realize that you haven't plugged in your earphone jack.
446. Open the chips from the bottom.
445. Or the cereal.
444. Stay on hold on the phone for service so long that you need to eat a sandwich, then take a big bite so that you're unable to answer when the rep come back on, and she hangs up on you.
443. Cram for a test that turns out to be next week.
442. Mistakenly shut down a projector that you're trying to start up.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

455. Write out a note to include with other stuff in an envelope, and send the envelope on its way minus the note.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

456. Let your paint rag slop paint into the wrong area.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

461. Sign your first and last name on a postcard that you're sending to your child at summer camp.
460. Dial a telephone number by punching the numbers on your computer keyboard (when you're not using Internet telephone).
459. Look up a person (e.g. Jill Jones) on the company phone list by your private nickname for her (e.g. "Trixie").
458. Call up the person who maintains the company phone list to ask why Jill Jones isn't included.
457. Finally locate Jill Jones' phone number and call her, then realize that you need to call Bob Smith about Jill Jones.

1001 ways to goof up (continued)

463. Look up a person on the company phone list by their nickname.
462. When you need to ask Person A a question about Person B, dial Person B by mistake.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

464. Get distracted at your kid's Little League game and miss his at-bat

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

466. Perfandm a find-replace in Microsoft Wandd without taking into account all of the places where a set of letters appears in your document.

465. Go to put a pen in the pocket of a shirt that doesn't have pockets.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

467. Park too far away from the gas pump to reach your gas tank with the nozzle.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

493. Get out of your car to pump gas without pulling the lever that opens the door to the gas tank.
492. Forget to put your gas cap back on.
491. Forget to close the door to your gas tank.
490. Forget to close the door to your gas tank.
480. Forget to put a memory card in your camera.
479. Forget to push the record button on your tape recorder.
478. Forget to secure your laptop in the case with the Velcro straps.
477. Forget to zip your laptop case.
476. Lose your grip on the soap.
475. Misstep while jumping rope.
474. Accidentally dip your nose into the whipped cream on your hot chocolate.
473. Chew with your mouth open.
472. Drive with your trunk open.
471. Pull too far forward in a parking space, so that you're car juts out too far.
470. Drift off while typingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg and keep pressing one key.
469. Fling cake batter around your kitchen by pulling your electric mixer up too high.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

494. Wonder why your computer mouse won't work, and then realize that you haven't connected it.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

495. Fail to register your name as a web domain when you had the chance.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

496. Slide the deadbolt on a door and shut it behind you. Try to get back in through that door and realize that now it's locked with the knob's button lock.

1002 ways to goof up

499. Blow out a well-melted candle so that hot wax splashes onto your face.
498. Go for "one more run" on the ski slope.
497. Gather up papers at work that belong at home and put them in your briefcase--then carry them back to work the next day because you forgot to take them out at home.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

504. Mistakenly click "Enter" when you're almost done with an online sign-up form, thereby erasing all of the information that you already entered.
503. Click back and re-enter the data and then prematurely hit "Enter" again.
502. Realize at that point that you didn't have to click back, you only had to scroll down and enter the informaiton that you hadn't entered yet.
501. Take care of an errand at one store in the mall, then proceed to other errands, then realize that there was another errand at another store in the mall that you could have taken care of when you were there.
500. Get your mixes worded up.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

507. Forget extra batteries for the camera.
506. Listen to audio from your laptop with your headphones in--and then realize that you have the headphone jack in the wrong hole.
505. Sign and email with the name of the person you're emailing--instead of your own name.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

512. Step on your own shoelace and untie it. Or trip!
511. Accidentally pay for a personal purchase with your company credit card.
510. In a fast-food drive-through line, pay at Window 1 but forget to pick up your food at Window 509. Hit yourself in the head with a cabinet door.
508. Hit someone else in the head with a cabinet door.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

516. Misalign a zipper's teeth.
515. Lose the end of a roll of tape. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!
514. Repeatedly shock yourself with static electricity.
513. Open the sliding door of your van while pumping gas so that it slams into the safety lock.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

I've committed all of these at work recently:

520. Accidentally ruin the settings on your ergonomic desk chair.
519. Forget to put your lunch away in the refrigerator. Yuck! room-temperature yogurt.
518. Answer the telephone wearing a headset receiver but fail to hit the headset button--so you sound like you're speaking into the telephone from across the room.

Plus this one that I've committed before but not lately:

517. Answer the telephone only to find that it was ringing only in a television program.

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

523. Mistakenly buy runny original Yoplait instead of nice, thick custard-style Yoplait. Mmm.
522. Throw ketchup packets in your purse and forget about them until they burst.
521. ,ods;omh upit gomhrtd pm upit lrunpstf (Translation: Misalign your fingers on a keyboard.)

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

529. Assemble furniture incorrectly.
528. Stay on hold on the telephone for an hour and then accidentally hang up.
526. Cut up your new credit card that just came in the mail rather than the old one that it replaced.
525. Spill maple syrup on the pants you're about to return.
524. Carefully crease paper to make it tear neatly and then rip it in the wrong place.