Feb 3, 2007

1002 ways to goof up (continued)

598. Get picked off base.
597. Order a rocket from Acme Products when you're all too familiar with their history of malfunctions.
596. Pee on an electric fence.
595. Use your mom's best scarf to dress up a snowman.
594. Use your dad's best tie to dress up a snowman.
593. Apply the frosting before toasting your struedel.
592. Say "I can't believe it's not butter" every time you taste (guess what).
591. Shovel snow into a spot that someone has just cleared of snow.
590. Paddle on the same side of a canoe as a fellow canoer, so you end up going in circles.
589. Exit your workplace on a wintry day, only to find that you left your gloves inside your snow-covered car.
588. Rather than take a minute to scrape your windshield, drive hunched over peering through the tiny stretch of glass.
587. Use the last of the bulk bottled water in the office, but leave the big container for someone else to change.
586. Buy fund-raising sandwiches at work, then forget them in the office fridge until it's far too late.
585. When you've got to change your shoes, try to pull your pants off OVER the shoes. It never works! You're living a lie!
584. Scrape one side of the mouth of your garage.
583. Leave a video in the hot sun to melt.
582. Accidentally block the store aisle with your shopping cart.
581. Forget that you were going to wait for a store clerk checking to see if that shirt is still in stock in that color.

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