No contest! Really: No contest!

Here’s an email from my cousin Emily in Vermont, who emailed me last week asking for a copy of our Jimmy Gimmy book to use as a prize for a bubble-blowing contest at a church event—as well as for information on how to run the contest the same way she had seen us run one at a town festival called Old Home Day. The point of the story is: If you are even thinking about running a bubble-blowing contest voluntarily, we must say to you: Ya Goof!

Dear Keith and Family,

The contest was great!

“Sign up for the Bubble Gum Contest right here!” I said. Every little person age three and up wrote their names as best as they could and then hovered around me to start the contest. “You have to stand back and form and line,” I said, remembering the very organized way you ran the contest at Old Home Day.

“Everyone needs gum!” I said. Heads dropped immediately and eyes locked in on the bag of Dubble Bubble lying on the floor. I handed out the gum, telling contestants that they had to get the gum nice and soft, so: “Chew,chew,chew!”

I called on the first contestant. A bright young girl. She was the daughter of the guest speaker. “Okay, blow a bubble,” I said.

“I don’t know how.”

The thought never occurred to me that the kids would sign up for a contest they couldn’t do!

“Well, keep chewing and watch the other kids,” I said. “Maybe you'll get the hang of it.”

Some kids were chewing steady and really working the gum. They looked straight ahead, concentrating with all their might. Some had the blank stares of Ben Stein. Others were talking, chewing and walking, all at the same time. One girl wanted gum while working on a root beer float. I remembered what you said in the rules: All contestants must have a clean mouth. I was strict about this. She put down her drink, never to be touched again until I picked it up, as I did all the other floats forsaken for a piece of pink chewing gum.

By this time, we were getting some good bubbles going. The practice time was over, and my “calipers” were ready. (One ruler and two straws taped together.) Where were my printed directions?!!!!! I couldn't find them anywhere! I had to have help with this. The guest speaker was a graduate of Brown University majoring in mathematics. “Can you help?” I told him the situation.
Looking down at my on-the-spot invention, he said he had to think about it. I think I heard him say he would need a slide rule and graphic calculator and still he wasn’t sure how to measure. His wife came by and said just eyeball it. That was good enough for me.

With my calipers ready, I measured 2 1/2", 3", 3 1/2", etc. I was confident in your words, “the judge has the final answer.” Everyone was cool with that. The winner blew a bubble 7 1/2" (more or less). It was BIG. After that, the bubble gum was losing its pliability, and I declared the contest over.

Anna Swift won with the 7 1/2" bubble. Everyone was happy! Except a fourth grader who came in third. She approached me for her prize as well as her friend’s second-place earnings. I had no plans to give a second- or third-place prize. Panic was setting in. I looked over at the second-place winner. She had just won the hula hoop contest.

“Whew,” I thought. “She’s got a prize. She’s okay.”

But my fourth-grade friend was persistent.

“You can have the rest of the bubble gum,” I told her in my “game show announcer” voice. I turned to get the rest of the gum. And there was none left!

“It’s all gone. Who would have thought?” I said. “How about a bottle of soda and ice cream to take home so you can make your own root beer floats?” That was very satisfying to her.

As we walked toward the kitchen, she said, “I have an idea. Why not give Abby the bottle of root beer and I’'ll take the ice cream.” She was determined that her friend, so happy with her hula hoop winnings, would take home a prize for coming in second in the Bubble Gum Contest.

Well, things went from bad to worse. There was only a partial bottle of root beer left and a partial carton of vanilla ice cream. She checked out the amount of ice cream and said she'd take it. She gave the root beer to Abby and all was right with the world. I explained everything to her father who thought it was extremely thoughtful of her to be so concerned about Abby’s happiness. She was very noble.

First prize (the book) went home with a fifth grade girl who will thoroughly enjoy it.

Thank you for making the weekend exciting and memorable.

Love,

Emily