Our pal Amy Hanna posted a classic goof story on her new blog, which sports the fantastic name of "Have Dog, Will Blog." Her tale involves pets, freezing rain and spare keys; maybe you can guess where that's heading. Scroll down until you see the title "You can learn a lot from a dummy." (Hey, she said it, not us. But we do agree with the educational value.)
One of the many great lines: "My 10-year-old neighbor, John, enthusiastically did offer to break any window of my choosing."
Amy, Ya Goof!
Mar 26, 2007
Mar 22, 2007
1002 ways to goof up (continued)
569. Read the wrong book for book club.
568. When a fellow book club member asks you which book is next on the schedule, tell them the wrong title, so that that person, too, has also read the wrong book.
567. Ask a fellow book club member which book is next on the schedule rather than checking the schedule yourself.
566. Show up for a public speaking engagement and speak on the wrong topic.
565. (A school thing) Walk into the wrong classroom.
568. When a fellow book club member asks you which book is next on the schedule, tell them the wrong title, so that that person, too, has also read the wrong book.
567. Ask a fellow book club member which book is next on the schedule rather than checking the schedule yourself.
566. Show up for a public speaking engagement and speak on the wrong topic.
565. (A school thing) Walk into the wrong classroom.
Mar 21, 2007
An episode of 24. Degrees, that is.
Our pal Ames joins Janet and me to watch Jack Bauer save the world during 24 season. This week, I poured Ames a glass of the newest flavor of Jazz—Caramel Cream. At the end of the show, I noticed that the glass was still full."You didn't like it?" I said.
"Um ... too cold," he said.
I didn't know what to say. He meant that the ice had made his drink too cold?
Janet saw my consternation and spoke up. "He means that it's too cold in here to drink a cold drink!" She said this from under her favorite wool blanket.
Oops. I've more or less made myself the furnace director in our house, and I favor a low setting. and I was wearing a sweater and using the laptop (which heats up one's one laptop). I guess I went too far ... er, too low ... on the thermostat.
Janet is used to this (hence the blanket). But not Ames. Sorry, pal!
Keith, Ya Goof!
Mar 19, 2007
Oh, grape!
In her sermon yesterday, our pastor mentioned how one day in late summer she ran into the grape vine in her backyard with the mower. The result? Raisins.
Reverend Marlys, Ya Goof!
Reverend Marlys, Ya Goof!
Mar 15, 2007
1002 ways to goof up (continued)
574. Pick out a greeting card but forget the matching envelope until the clerk reminds you—and then try to find your way back to the same section of the rack.
573. Put off replacing a frayed shoelace so that it breaks when you're already late for work.
572. Get into a "No, you go first" waving duel with another driver at a four-way intersection.
571. Get caught inspecting someone else's lunch in the office refrigerator.
570. Go the vending machine with the wrong amount of change.
573. Put off replacing a frayed shoelace so that it breaks when you're already late for work.
572. Get into a "No, you go first" waving duel with another driver at a four-way intersection.
571. Get caught inspecting someone else's lunch in the office refrigerator.
570. Go the vending machine with the wrong amount of change.
The family that goofs together ...
We're behind on posting but not on goofing up. Below are stories from just this week.
* * *
Ethan (though still in eighth grade) starts his day at the high school for Spanish class. Keith usually drives him there "the back way," avoiding the heavy morning bus-and-cars-dropping-off-kids traffic on Hart Street, which runs by the junior high. But Keith absentmindedly turned up Hart Street, making Ethan late arriving at the high school, where Ethan realized that he actually had to start that day at the junior high. So Keith and Ethan took the wrong way to the right place, which turned out to be the wrong place.
* * *
Janet was to pick up Keith at the tire shop on Monday evening but went to the wrong one.
* * *
Keith mistakenly took Janet's keys to work with him. The good news was that she didn't need the car that day. The bad news was that Emmett did need his backpack, which was locked in the car. Keith had to borrow a friend's car and drive back home right after arriving at work.
* * *
So our whole family needs to hear: Ya Goof!
* * *
Ethan (though still in eighth grade) starts his day at the high school for Spanish class. Keith usually drives him there "the back way," avoiding the heavy morning bus-and-cars-dropping-off-kids traffic on Hart Street, which runs by the junior high. But Keith absentmindedly turned up Hart Street, making Ethan late arriving at the high school, where Ethan realized that he actually had to start that day at the junior high. So Keith and Ethan took the wrong way to the right place, which turned out to be the wrong place.
* * *
Janet was to pick up Keith at the tire shop on Monday evening but went to the wrong one.
* * *
Keith mistakenly took Janet's keys to work with him. The good news was that she didn't need the car that day. The bad news was that Emmett did need his backpack, which was locked in the car. Keith had to borrow a friend's car and drive back home right after arriving at work.
* * *
So our whole family needs to hear: Ya Goof!
Mar 8, 2007
Our home's American Idol fans say ...
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! America, Ya Goofs!
Mar 6, 2007
Must ... not ... think ... about ... the ... ink
Sometimes I wake up hyperventilating. When it all comes back to me.
I went in to work on a Saturday. The boys were with me.
Emmett was about three years old at the time. I looked up, and he had a marker in his hand.
From the corner of my eye, I saw—Ohmygodno, no, no—a marker mark on the wall.
I shot to my feet and raced to the mark. It ran toward the corner. And around. And all the way down the hall.
In a movie, the camera shot would shift to the outside of the building and zoom away to the sound of a yell: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
All I can say is: God bless the facilities workers who scrubbed the marks off the wall. You could almost not see it afterward.
Wait, I can say one more thing: Emmett, Ya Goof!
I went in to work on a Saturday. The boys were with me.
Emmett was about three years old at the time. I looked up, and he had a marker in his hand.
From the corner of my eye, I saw—Ohmygodno, no, no—a marker mark on the wall.
I shot to my feet and raced to the mark. It ran toward the corner. And around. And all the way down the hall.
In a movie, the camera shot would shift to the outside of the building and zoom away to the sound of a yell: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
All I can say is: God bless the facilities workers who scrubbed the marks off the wall. You could almost not see it afterward.
Wait, I can say one more thing: Emmett, Ya Goof!
Mar 3, 2007
hEEllo from E & E in San JosEE
Hey, this is Ethan and Emmett's(notice that Ethan's name is first) but Emmett's name is first in the alphabet and is too good for parentheses anyway, first blog on Yagoof so bear with us here. It's March 3 and we're still in San Jose.
Today Mom planned to visit a community center/library on the outer limits of San Jose, and the Lettermen had to scout the best way to get there with the public transport system before they got to see Dad's old college roommate, Phil who lives in the area. The primary target was a place to eat breakfast though, so we walked around for about 3 years to find the same McDonald's that we ate breakfast @ yesterday(okay so it was actually about 30 minutes). The whole time we were searching we had to keep an eye out for these little signs w/ the word "DASH" on them which stood for "Downtown Area SHuttle." The signs represented places where this little free bus would stop on weekdays and take people around the downtown for free. The only problem was that today was Saturday in Pacific Time (as if it wasn't in Eastern Time), so the shuttle never came. Because of that, we missed our first scouting bus. After that we just walked to the bus station, which was actually a train station (see how confusing this is?) to catch the bus which turned out to be going the wrong way. The way the bus worked was that it went back and forth on its route all day with the Station as one of the stops right in the middle. When it passed the Station while we were there it was going back while we wanted it to go forth. So we ended up at the complete opposite end of the line. So we rode the bus the whole way back to the community center/library end of the line(we had to pay for two bus trips each, by the way since we reached the end of the line the first time.).
After all this, we realized that the next bus wouldn't show up at the library end for another hour. This meant that after the bus ride to the train station, and the train ride to where Phil lives, we wouldn't get to see him for another three hours even though he lived 15 minutes from where we were. So we just called Phil, and he came to pick us up. This meant that we had to call Mom and explain to her the public transport system for her to get to the library. As it turned out we simply picked Mom up from the bus stop ourselves using Phil's GPS navigator, KAREN. On the way we tried to drive down a track for the local train (more like an above-ground subway) and we tried to go the wrong way down a one-way street. Basically today was a blast.
Today Mom planned to visit a community center/library on the outer limits of San Jose, and the Lettermen had to scout the best way to get there with the public transport system before they got to see Dad's old college roommate, Phil who lives in the area. The primary target was a place to eat breakfast though, so we walked around for about 3 years to find the same McDonald's that we ate breakfast @ yesterday(okay so it was actually about 30 minutes). The whole time we were searching we had to keep an eye out for these little signs w/ the word "DASH" on them which stood for "Downtown Area SHuttle." The signs represented places where this little free bus would stop on weekdays and take people around the downtown for free. The only problem was that today was Saturday in Pacific Time (as if it wasn't in Eastern Time), so the shuttle never came. Because of that, we missed our first scouting bus. After that we just walked to the bus station, which was actually a train station (see how confusing this is?) to catch the bus which turned out to be going the wrong way. The way the bus worked was that it went back and forth on its route all day with the Station as one of the stops right in the middle. When it passed the Station while we were there it was going back while we wanted it to go forth. So we ended up at the complete opposite end of the line. So we rode the bus the whole way back to the community center/library end of the line(we had to pay for two bus trips each, by the way since we reached the end of the line the first time.).
After all this, we realized that the next bus wouldn't show up at the library end for another hour. This meant that after the bus ride to the train station, and the train ride to where Phil lives, we wouldn't get to see him for another three hours even though he lived 15 minutes from where we were. So we just called Phil, and he came to pick us up. This meant that we had to call Mom and explain to her the public transport system for her to get to the library. As it turned out we simply picked Mom up from the bus stop ourselves using Phil's GPS navigator, KAREN. On the way we tried to drive down a track for the local train (more like an above-ground subway) and we tried to go the wrong way down a one-way street. Basically today was a blast.
Mar 2, 2007
More of San Jose the YaGoof way
I'm at another guest computer in another hotel lobby. We transferred to the Sainte Claire, a very nice Victorian place. The Comfort Suites was nice, but we already had this reservation, too. It's closer to Janet's conference.
Guest computers appear to be common in San Jose, no doubt influenced by the fact that there are so many tech companies here. On a walk last night, we passed an HP building--maybe the headquarters--and an Adobe building--which just HAD to be the headquarters, because they'd gone to the trouble of installing this system of four huge red bisected circles that swiveled around until sometimes the bisections lined up. Just to draw the eye, I guess. I'll google off for a bit and see if I can steal a picture of that ...
Well, maybe later. I can't seem to open two windows at once on this computer.
Anyway, here are the latest goofs:
RISING
I woke up in the Comfort Suites at 4 am (hey, it was 7 am in real (ET) time). Janet growled at me when I tried to quietly rustle around for clothes. So last night I got my clothes organized to prevent having to rustle for them.
OVERHEATING
I woke up at 4 am, but this time, it wasn't jet-lag, it was because the room was too warm. We'd forgotten to turn down the heat.
TOURING
We went to San Francisco yesterday on the subway system that called CalTrain. Along the way, I was looking at some brochures that I'd gotten from the hotel and wished that I had more info. I asked Janet if she'd brought along that California tour book that she'd had at home. She reminded me that I'd advised against it. I'm big on not overpacking.
Looking at the brochures that I did have, I read about getting a Muni passport in San Francisco that lets you ride on basically all public transport. We bought four and then stood outside the station for a while confounded by the map. After about twenty minutes, passing up some buses and doing some street crossing and re-crossing, we finally managed to find the right subway for where we wanted to go.
After doing some exits and transfers, the map started to make sense, and it turned out to be a great purchase. The trains themselves are a great way to travel, and we had our own private bus ride (no other riders) up and down the famous streets of San Francisco. But best of all was riding on the outside of the Powell and Hyde cable car. Emmett ended up right at the prow. Ethan was behind him for a block or two, but at a stop I switched places with Ethan because I saw some big uphill slopes coming, and I wanted to make sure that Emmett (Mr.-I-don't-like-roller-coasters-even-the-slow-ones) was okay. And he was.
RETURNING
After a long, great day, we decided to walk to the hotel from the train station. We had to guess where the right direction was, because we didn't have any maps. That was a potential goof, and we did do just a bit of backtracking, but San Jose doesn't have that big a downtown, so it turned out to be a good move and a very nice walk.
At the end of the day, Janet proclaimed the day free of mishaps. Virtually true!
Guest computers appear to be common in San Jose, no doubt influenced by the fact that there are so many tech companies here. On a walk last night, we passed an HP building--maybe the headquarters--and an Adobe building--which just HAD to be the headquarters, because they'd gone to the trouble of installing this system of four huge red bisected circles that swiveled around until sometimes the bisections lined up. Just to draw the eye, I guess. I'll google off for a bit and see if I can steal a picture of that ...
Well, maybe later. I can't seem to open two windows at once on this computer.
Anyway, here are the latest goofs:
RISING
I woke up in the Comfort Suites at 4 am (hey, it was 7 am in real (ET) time). Janet growled at me when I tried to quietly rustle around for clothes. So last night I got my clothes organized to prevent having to rustle for them.
OVERHEATING
I woke up at 4 am, but this time, it wasn't jet-lag, it was because the room was too warm. We'd forgotten to turn down the heat.
TOURING
We went to San Francisco yesterday on the subway system that called CalTrain. Along the way, I was looking at some brochures that I'd gotten from the hotel and wished that I had more info. I asked Janet if she'd brought along that California tour book that she'd had at home. She reminded me that I'd advised against it. I'm big on not overpacking.
Looking at the brochures that I did have, I read about getting a Muni passport in San Francisco that lets you ride on basically all public transport. We bought four and then stood outside the station for a while confounded by the map. After about twenty minutes, passing up some buses and doing some street crossing and re-crossing, we finally managed to find the right subway for where we wanted to go.
After doing some exits and transfers, the map started to make sense, and it turned out to be a great purchase. The trains themselves are a great way to travel, and we had our own private bus ride (no other riders) up and down the famous streets of San Francisco. But best of all was riding on the outside of the Powell and Hyde cable car. Emmett ended up right at the prow. Ethan was behind him for a block or two, but at a stop I switched places with Ethan because I saw some big uphill slopes coming, and I wanted to make sure that Emmett (Mr.-I-don't-like-roller-coasters-even-the-slow-ones) was okay. And he was.
RETURNING
After a long, great day, we decided to walk to the hotel from the train station. We had to guess where the right direction was, because we didn't have any maps. That was a potential goof, and we did do just a bit of backtracking, but San Jose doesn't have that big a downtown, so it turned out to be a good move and a very nice walk.
At the end of the day, Janet proclaimed the day free of mishaps. Virtually true!
Mar 1, 2007
The way to San Jose
The family is on the road again. I'm typing this in the lobby of a Comfort Suites in San Jose, California. Janet got a grant to go to a Library Conference, and the rest of us paid our way to accompany her.
We didn't bring our laptop; I'm typing this on a guest computer. So it may be the only post of the whole trip, unless we run into more guest computers.
I probably won't be posting any pictures, even after we get back, because (keep track of the goofs, now), I forgot the camera at home.
I also forgot my cell phone in the car, back at the Baltimore Airport. But Janet has hers and Ethan has his, so we'll be okay.
Continental Airlines earns recognitions for leaving us waiting before takeoff about thirty minutes. That's ironic, since this was the first flight for Ethan and Emmett, and I've NEVER had a flight delay that long. On the other hand, that gave time for their nerves to settle. After just sitting for a long time, it's no longer "Whoa, we're gonna fly; I don't know if I'll survive," it's "Let's just get going already."
Contintental Airlines again: I couldn't pin down (pun intended) whether the airline gives out First Flyer pins. I asked for them for the boys. The flight attendant on the first flight (nicely) said he didn't have time. The employee inside the terminal said, "Sure! If I can find them!" But she couldn't. She sent me to a Customer Service desk, where they said they didn't have any such pins. Same story at another desk. What the heck, I'll keep asking, and if I strike out, I'll write to Continental and see what they say.
The flights went well. Plural, because we had a couple-hour layover in Newark. The six-hour flight to San Jose was nice. Roomy plane, many empty seats so we could spread out, clean. We watched "Casino Royale" and "Happy Feet." The latter had its moments, but the story is kind of jumbled, and I can't see how it won the Oscar rather than "Cars."
The goof of the day goes to Rainbox Taxi in San Jose, who kept us waiting at the airport about half an hour for a four-minute cab ride. The Comfort Suites has a nice service where they pay for a cab ride from the airport, and the dispatcher was very pleasant (sounded JUST like Michael Clarke Duncan--is that the right name? from "Green Mile"?)--but he sent out a new driver who simply could not find the cab stand. There were a lot of cell calls (to Janet's phone) involved here.
Nice room. Good sleep. Here we go.
We didn't bring our laptop; I'm typing this on a guest computer. So it may be the only post of the whole trip, unless we run into more guest computers.
I probably won't be posting any pictures, even after we get back, because (keep track of the goofs, now), I forgot the camera at home.
I also forgot my cell phone in the car, back at the Baltimore Airport. But Janet has hers and Ethan has his, so we'll be okay.
Continental Airlines earns recognitions for leaving us waiting before takeoff about thirty minutes. That's ironic, since this was the first flight for Ethan and Emmett, and I've NEVER had a flight delay that long. On the other hand, that gave time for their nerves to settle. After just sitting for a long time, it's no longer "Whoa, we're gonna fly; I don't know if I'll survive," it's "Let's just get going already."
Contintental Airlines again: I couldn't pin down (pun intended) whether the airline gives out First Flyer pins. I asked for them for the boys. The flight attendant on the first flight (nicely) said he didn't have time. The employee inside the terminal said, "Sure! If I can find them!" But she couldn't. She sent me to a Customer Service desk, where they said they didn't have any such pins. Same story at another desk. What the heck, I'll keep asking, and if I strike out, I'll write to Continental and see what they say.
The flights went well. Plural, because we had a couple-hour layover in Newark. The six-hour flight to San Jose was nice. Roomy plane, many empty seats so we could spread out, clean. We watched "Casino Royale" and "Happy Feet." The latter had its moments, but the story is kind of jumbled, and I can't see how it won the Oscar rather than "Cars."
The goof of the day goes to Rainbox Taxi in San Jose, who kept us waiting at the airport about half an hour for a four-minute cab ride. The Comfort Suites has a nice service where they pay for a cab ride from the airport, and the dispatcher was very pleasant (sounded JUST like Michael Clarke Duncan--is that the right name? from "Green Mile"?)--but he sent out a new driver who simply could not find the cab stand. There were a lot of cell calls (to Janet's phone) involved here.
Nice room. Good sleep. Here we go.
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