May 24, 2006

Sometimes you can only shrub your shoulders

It began like so:

DAD: Ethan, get the hedge clippers and trim the grape vines sticking into the Elcove.

"The Elcove" is what we Eldreds call our backyard gazebo. Go ahead, roll your eyes at that name, but we like it. Last evening, we were grilling some food and eating out there.

Here's a picture of the vines I was talking about:



What Ethan heard me say was: Get the hedge clippers and blah blah blah blah blah. Dadspeak is only partially understandable to him.

Bustling around grilling and bossing, my next line to Ethan was: Bring out some plates.

ETHAN: But you said to clip the hedges.

DAD: Oh, yeah, carry on.

What I heard was: But you said to blah blah blah. With my tendency to pepper out directions, I've heard "But you said to ..." so many times that my mind simply inserts an earlier directive.

That was the crucial exchange, though we didn't realize it until later. Notice that Ethan, now holding the hedge clippers, assumed that he was to clip the hedges. Kind of a natural assumption, I must admit.

So without my noticing, he went to the front of the house and started clipping one of the hedges.

Fast forward. The food is ready.

DAD: (to Emmett) Go find Ethan.

What Emmett heard: Go find Ethan. A miracle! Perfect translation!

Except Emmett came back and said: I can't find him. I looked all over the house.

DAD: (calling out to the world at large) Ethan!

Ethan: (from the front of the house, where he was clipping a shrub) Coming.

Emmett: (after Ethan appeared) Where were you?

Ethan: Clipping the hedge like Dad told me to.

Dad: No, I said to ...

And you know the rest. Here's a picture of Ethan's work:



The thing is, these days our lives are so busy that I didn't dare leave one shrub trimmed and not the rest. Who knows when we'd actually have the time and weather to finish the job. So we ended up racing the setting sun to get the trimming done.

As Emmett declared after we sorted everything out: A double YaGoof!

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