Sep 15, 2006

At least I wasn't off by a whole year

Some people—namely, women, men, and did I mention women?—get really mad when you overestimate their age. But in other matters of time, you dare not underestimate.

For instance, a mother's time of labor. Guys, even if you think you were present during every moment, you were not. Your observations of start- and end-time do not matter and do not count. Never, ever, try to do the calculation on your own. Even if the lady comes up with, say, 86 hours of labor, over a two-day period. She will not be shorted.

If you violate this rule, you deserve to hear: Ya Goof!

For having learned this the hard way, I say to myself: Ya Goof!

For even raising this topic and risking wrath from all directions, I repeat to myself: Ya Goof!

Another matter is time of service to an employer. Our company has an intranet site (an internal web site) whose home page notes company anniversaries. Yesterday, the list included a friend's name and the number of years: 18.

I was surprised that this person had served the company that long. I took special note because my own company anniversary falls three days earlier.

Being the cute and clever person I am, I sent an email comparing the person's time of service to my own: "Me 6212 days, You 6209 days. My lead: .04%." I got the count of days using this calculator.

The reply: "What does that mean?"

My answer: "It means that I started here 3 days before you did."

The reply: "Didn't you start in 1989? I started in 1988."

D'oh! I had forgotten that I had just passed 17 years, not 18. I instantly fell behind by 362 days. (How the company got along without me all that time, I have no idea ...)

Keith, Ya Goof!

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